Hey guys! It has been nearly a year since I first wrote a coronavirus diary so I thought it was about time that I revisited it again since we are back in another lockdown which is not dissimilar to the original lockdown. I am in a completely different place now as I am in the middle of year 12 and I am expected to do online school until March at least. Everything just feels like a big mess. But at least this time, the end is in sight because we have a vaccine to hopefully save us from coronavirus. I am planning on potentially releasing some more coronavirus diaries over the next few weeks along with my regular content which is super exciting because I love this series! For now, here is part 2 of my coronavirus diary.
Picture the scene. It’s nearly 8 o’clock on Monday evening. I’ve just finished on facetime with my friends from Church and Boris is about to make an announcement to the nation. I can’t bring myself to watch it so I decide to watch ‘Into the Woods’ instead. I’ll find out the announcement from my parents later.
That was my first mistake. Nothing can be worse than seeing the disappointment in my mum’s eyes full on as she tells me that the nation is going into another lockdown for at least 6 weeks and that schools are shutting. It’s that familiar sinking feeling in my stomach that resurfaces once again and to match that, I sink down into the living room floor, trying to process it. I decide to finish watching ‘Into the Woods’ instead of thinking about it too deeply. Escapism will be my armour for now.
It’s only once I’ve finished what is a very good film that the reality of the situation hits me. No school, friends or freedom for at least 6 weeks. I feel strange deja vu like we’re back into March 2020 all over again except without the warmer weather. I finish the night off by trying to get to sleep but instead lying awake for a very long time.
The next few weeks are a roller coaster of emotions. Sometimes I feel thankful and appreciative of all the good things in my life like my friends, family and the things I’m passionate about. Other times I feel so low and overthinking manipulates my thoughts and my mood, turning me into a wreck of sadness and anger. I alternate between hope and hopelessness as much as I change my clothes. But I know that I am not alone and that this is most people’s lockdown story. I’ve tried to make the conscious effort this lockdown to be more authentic about my mental health instead of trying to make it look like I’m holding it all together fine. I don’t struggle every day but I don’t always have good days and that’s okay. It’s okay not to always be okay.
To be honest, I’ve spent much of my time in lockdown completing school work and my minimal free time has been spent keeping in touch with friends, going on walks and playing chess with my mum. It’s a good distraction to be honest because my boredom and lack of focus in the first lockdown was scarily real. Even after the third lockdown I think we are all yet again reminded of what truly matters in life and we hope that we can return to normal life soon. For now, we wait patiently for the vaccine to defeat the virus once and for all.
Thank you for reading this post! There’ll be another one out soon but until then bye for now!
Amelia Grace a.k.a Amelia in Hull